Break Up Your Band

The Ocean Blue - “Ballerina Out of Control”
Cerulean, 1991

This is one of the prettiest songs off this album by always under-appreciated The Ocean Blue. If you like The Sundays, you will like this album.

Madonna - “Human Nature”
Bedtime Stories, 1994

In 1992 Madonna released her “coffee table” book Sex. Stories circulated by my friends regarding the book’s contents grew to mythical proportions and sent fourteen-year-old-with-a-huge-crush-on-Madonna me on a quest to find the book and/or it’s contents at any cost. With no older brothers or similar connections to the seedy underbelly of the adult world, it was a long and difficult road that finally concluded with the advent of the Internet. You can find not only the entire book, but also the rare hour-long, highly-fappable 8mm film that many of the books photos were made from, on the Internet. God bless you, Al Gore.

Anyway, lots of people not as attractive or brave as Madonna got their huge, largely-untouched-by-the-opposite-sex panties in an uproar about Sex, so she made it up to them in 1994 by releasing this slinky, pulsating single addressing the controversy and making a bunch of money.

See the (also pretty fappable) video here.

See the contents of Sex with your friend Google.

The Black Crowes - “Remedy”
The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, 1992

I feel like I’m maybe one or two tiny life choices away from having become someone who wears a lot of bajas, smokes a lot of weed, and invests a lot of time and money into religiously following jam-band circuit bands like the Black Crowes.

Rage Against the Machine - “Snakecharmer”
Evil Empire, 1996

Look, guys, seriously, please don’t let it get back to the Crimethinc Collective that I’m saying this because they will totally revoke my Anarchist membership card, tear it up and then throw the pieces in a dumpster that I will then have to go diving in, but I still think RATM was a great band. I know the whole “it’s fratboy punk!” argument has a lot of steam but if it wasn’t for getting into them in high school I might not have eventually wound up listening to “legitimate” punk/anarchist bands. Besides, by being really loud and in everyone’s faces for a few years and then totally disappearing RATM’s career pretty much mirrored most of the political groups I joined in college.

Man this song rocks. I will listen to it while I wait for Dunkin Donuts to throw the day’s bagels into their dumpster.

Megadeth - “Train of Consequences”
Youthenasia, 1994

Continuing with the theme of albums that came out this week at different years during the ’90s, Megadeth’s Youthenasia came out 15 years ago this week.

Cute chick/dude in your office: “It’s 4:00 already? I’m going down to the deli to get a snack.”
You: “Why don’t you stay here and snack on this Megadeth I’m about to rock right the fuck out to in my cube?

Cut to you two telling your kids how you met.